When Spiritual Health Feels Like Work

Welcome to Life Reclaimed, a place for honest conversations about faith, healing, and real life.

We are three friends. Learning to walk in freedom and trust God through the messy middle.

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Hello and welcome, everybody.

I am Kim.

I amm Brenda.

And I’m Cindy.

And we are here sitting around the table, ready to have some great conversation.

Hey, so what is something good that happened this week for you guys?

I’ll go first.

I survived a three day volleyball tournament with 14 to 16 year old girls.

Yes.

Super fun.

And My son came home.

He’s a Marine and got to visit with him for a little bit.

Wow.

That’s awesome.

I have been agonizing over an answer that I needed and I finally got it this week.

So, that was such a relief to get that.

And it was good.

So.

That’s incredible.

Yes.

I love when answers come in. I love neon signs and big answers, Lord. Those are my favorites.

Amen.

I got to talk to my older boys this weekend. That was really fun to get a chance to chat with them a little bit. And my mom’s doctors are jumping in and doing a great job with her health. So that’s always great.

That’s great.

Yeah.

Today, we’re going to talk a little bit about spiritual health because we are talking in this season all about healthiness.

Our four seasons will be healthy, whole, healed, and free.

But for this season, we’re talking about healthiness.

And so we want to know, what does it look like to be spiritually healthy?

And we want to know what kind of experiences you guys have had.

Yes, let’s give a disclaimer.

We are not pastors, therapists, or legal or spiritual advisors.

We literally are just three friends sitting around a table having a conversation for sure.

Okay.

And we do realize there is some tension between rest, which some of us are not the best at and being spiritually disciplined.

So first, when you hear the word spiritual health, what comes to mind for you?

I think I immediately start thinking about my prayer life, my worship life, what’s coming out of my mouth.

One of the thoughts in my head. And I am every day trying to look like Jesus for people. And if I can’t say yes, then maybe struggling with my spiritual health.

Wow.

That’s good.

That’s good.

And I think that, you know, the spiritual disciplines, you do think of when it comes to spiritual health, am I, you know, am I in my Bible? Am I going to church? Am I praying? You know, just the discipline that goes along in order to have spiritual health, just like you would have discipline for physical health.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

If we had to define what it looks like to be spiritually healthy and spiritually unhealthy, could you put words around that? What is the motivation for that too?

Right?

I could be doing all those spiritual disciplines, but still be spiritually unhealthy.

Right.

I would almost argue somebody who is spiritually healthy, recognizes it’s a process, recognizes there are going to be moments, maybe a day or days that, you know, you act out, you, you cussed. You got angry with your kid, you fought with your spouse or a coworker, or, you know, got frustrated in a parking lot because somebody took your parking spot.

Like there’s, it’s not going to look perfect, but I think spiritually healthy, you can reflect on that.

Right.

You can catch yourself in that and go, oh, God, okay.

And, yeah.

And forgiveness for that.

In that, you know, in that moment or later on when you do get a chance to reflect, wow, I didn’t handle that well.

Should have handled that differently.

So this is sounding a little bit like spiritual maturity, right?

It’s sounding a little bit like if I am working in my spiritually healthy self, I may make mistakes still because none of us are perfect, but for Jesus who walked on this earth. But so, I might make mistakes still, but being able to recognize it, own it, and try to repair that might be part of being spiritually healthy.

Is that what it sounds like to you too?

I think so.

Sure.

I think so.

And I, you know, if you’re a new believer, that may be more difficult to recognize.

Sure.

It’s learning to recognize the, you know, when the Holy Spirit is prompting you, the nudge, the gut check, right?

That all those pieces are also part of the puzzle.

And we’re going to talk about this here shortly, but the rest is what gets you there. If you can’t sit quiet with your Bible and Jesus and soak it all in, it’ll be harder to be spiritually healthy.

Okay.

You know, I think of David in the Bible and how he was a man after God’s heart.

And yet, you know, in his Psalms, he’s constantly struggling. It seems like with his spiritual health. He’s constantly crying out to God for help.

And, you know, you could say, wow, he is really spiritually healthy. But then you look at some of the things that he did in his life and they would have really pushed him far away from God had he not recognized it and asked for forgiveness and he still had the consequences.

Of course, but I think there’s plenty of examples in scripture of people that, you know, they want to get it together and we all make mistakes and, you know, God forgives us.

That’s beautiful.

And I feel like in Psalms, David’s constantly crying out.

Oh, my soul soul. Oh, dear Lord, check me. Listen to my thoughts. Know my heart.

Like, I feel like he’s constantly, really tormenting a little bit of his thoughts and his mind.

Right.

So that’s interesting.

Okay.

Awesome.

When you are spiritually healthy or unhealthy, how does that show up in your everyday reactions?

And you can take it either direction, ladies.

Well, I think Brenda touched on that.

You know, I mean, how you react, you know, if you’re not healthy, if you haven’t been in the word, if you haven’t been going to church or whatever it is, you know, your gut reaction might be more of a selfish nature, you know, quick to anger.

And if you’re spiritually healthy, you might be able to take a step back and take a minute, take a breath.

And some grace.

Give some grace.

Yeah.

Oh, for sure.

I always use the words when you’re not in a right place with Jesus.

Okay.

And you’re only really concerned with yourself at that point.

Yeah.

So it doesn’t really matter what anybody does.

It’s not going to be good enough for you because right now it’s all about you. So I know for me, I tend to be quick to react verbally if I’m not in the right place with Jesus. And I’ve worked really hard for a lot of years to know that about myself.

Sure.

And so I can just tell in how my body feels and how my heart feels.

Like that’s where I’m at in my process, my sanctification process, and leaning into Jesus, I could just feel the angst start to build and that’s my signal.

I know like, oh, that’s the Holy Spirit going, uh-uh, uh, uh, uh, uh,.

Stop, stop.

Pray.

Stop pray.

Okay.

It’s knowing your body, your brain, your mind, and recognizing when you need to take a breath and rely on Jesus and not yourself.

That’s so good.

I think for me, when I’m healthy, I get to operate out of my best self. And I feel good.

The other people around me, I can always assume the best in them.

And I feel like there’s a positivity to things.

I definitely feel like when I’m operating out of my best self, I see more of the fruit of the spirit in me. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, you know, faithfulness, self-control, all of those things.

But when I’m unhealthy, I start to operate out of my shadow and I start to undercut things or have these thoughts, or start doing things that I just, I’m not proud of or maybe I’m hiding or it’s in secrets or these kinds of things.

And so I work really hard.

If I start to see like a shadow thought coming over a situation or like you were saying, a knee-jerk reaction to a situation that was really uncalled for, very blown out of proportion. I’m now able to go, hmm, why did I react like that? 

What was it that, you know, triggered such a large reaction out of me? And am I operating out of health or unhealth? And I think that takes time.

It does.

That is not my initial behavior.

Time it takes. Self-reflection.

Yes.

We can.

Some people cringe at the word reflection.

In education, reflection is shoved down our throats.

And so I know I can cringe at it when you’re graded on a reflection and you’re like, I don’t understand that.

Okay.

But I also think if we’re operating spiritually unhealthy, that may be because we’re taking baby steps away from Jesus.

That’s so good.

What do you mean by that?

It’s a slippery slope, so it’s, I missed church that Sunday and I missed church the next Sunday. It’s like, well, nowhere in the Bible is going to say you have to go to church. So I’ll just do church at home.

And then you’re doing church at home and then, well, now there’s a baseball game or a football game or something else to tear away my time. And it’s easy to give up church at home. Dishes to be done, laundry to be done.

Paces to go and people to see.

Exactly.

And then it’s now you’re giving up that.

Well, I’ll read my Bible and then you read your Bible and then you give it up and then you, but I’m praying. So I’m praying. I’m not in the word, but I’m praying. I’m still talking to God. And then eventually that stops happening. Because maybe your prayer didn’t get met.

And so – cool, God’s not even listening.

Well, and I’m not going to church. So he’s probably definitely not listening to me. So what’s the point?

Right.

And then, each one of those is a step away. Each one of those in and of itself isn’t sinful, but that’s when this leads to bigger sin.

And I think then you find yourself in a really unhealthy place, making really bad choices and trying to figure out, how do I get out of the hole?

Sure.

You know, pull me out and guess what? You start back up again. You start going backwards.

First, you’re on your knees, then you’re in your Bible, then you’re back in church. And then you find yourself back to a spiritually healthy place.

That’s so good.

And now.

It’s a full circle.

It’s a full circle.

And now you can use, what I believe, all those mistakes you made, your story, your journey, now God’s going to use you.

And we can go back to David.

Same thing.

He made poor choices. God brings him back and look what he does with him. He uses him for his kingdom and glorifies his kingdom and brings Jesus to us.

Like, so and not that he didn’t have the consequences for the actions that he had, which he still had to go through, but the Lord was still able to take that story and make it such a story of redemption.

It’s very cool.

And you know what’s interesting too, is you don’t, I mean, I can’t think of any, but him being so angry at God, you know, and resentful of his consequences.

It seems like he recognized his sin and he took his consequences without shaking his fist, you know.

Interesting.

But I’m not sure.

That’s interesting.

Are you saying that when I get my consequences, I shake my fist at God? Well, I wasn’t grateful for my consequences that happened.

Man. Maybe I should work on that.

But I do think, you know, kind of what Brenda said too, the idea, I’ve been thinking about this. And so I don’t know. I’ll just check it with you guys, but unhealthy, spiritually unhealthy, is you could just really define it as sin.

In some way, you are sinning, whether you are, you know, neglecting what God has asked us to do, which is, you know, meet with fellow believers and be in the Word and make him first in our lives.

If we don’t, if we’re doing something unhealthy, then that’s sin.

And you talk about the shadow, you operating from your shadow and kind of hiding. And it made me think of, you know, the very first sin, you know, Adam and Eve, and what did they do?

They knew it. And they immediately went and hid.

Yes.

You know, that’s what we do as humans. That’s shame.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So getting out from under that and just praying that God would just forgive us and let us come back into the light.

Wow.

Wow.

That takes just the prodigal son, right?

The prodigal child.

Yeah.

I was a prodigal.

So I very much understand that fear of the fear of coming back and having to suffer the consequences, but also the joy of coming back.

The relief.

The relief.

Give me the consequence.

I just want to be back at your feet.

Like, I just want to be filled and and feel whole.

Like, I’ll take the consequence.

Like I will.

Like just.

Wow.

So that that was intense, guys.

So here we get real.

Yeah, we’re keeping it real.

So if I’m feeling this unrest or this spiritual unhealth, it could be from a cause of me not drawing close to God, not having God at the center of my life.

It could be due to a sin.

I mean, we’ve talked about a lot of possibilities as to where that spiritual unhealth could be coming from.

And so I’m very curious, what then do I do? Let’s say that I am this spiritually unhealthy one and you guys are going to come help me. What are my recommendations?

I mean, you kind of talked about that circle, right?

And I used to explain to my students in my class that people who are, I’m going to use air quotes, are bad people or make bad choices or do bad things… those people don’t wake up usually one morning and go, you know, I’m going to go do something wild and crazy that is really destructive for me or somebody else.

And I feel like what usually happens is they take tiny little steps.

You know, Satan whispers a little something to them. They give it a try. They don’t have horrible consequences from it. So they go again.

Satan says, hey, see, nobody got hurt. You know, that little lie didn’t affect anybody. You’re doing fine.

So then they do a bigger lie or they do just like you were suggesting, that they keep going down this cycle and pretty soon that spiritual unhealth, they can’t even recognize it.

And what they thought was so bad, like a month ago, like they’re doing, they’re literally right at that doorstep. And now it’s a possibility for them to actually act out on it.

And I think that’s a journey of desensitization that Satan takes us through, right? And so what we can talk about today, maybe, is how to come on back from that.

How do I get back? If I’ve walked away from God, if I’ve walked away from, or maybe I never even knew him. Let’s just start there.

Or maybe I, I had this sin that has been separating me from him, my whole life and I didn’t know it.

But let’s, let’s just talk about what are some things that I could do that could help me?

And I would also argue that there’s the believer that maybe you haven’t walked away from God, but you definitely haven’t drawn close.

Like you’re doing what you think are the things you’re supposed to be doing, right? And you’re feeling a little, but you’re still

Yeah

You’re still feeling empty. That too, I think, is a form of spiritual unhealth and so disconnect things.

Yeah.

I think number one is being on your knees. Honest, being honest with God.

Love that.

Of where you are, of what you’ve done or not done that you should be doing.

Because he knows anyway.

Right.

He knows exactly what you did.

And Cindy.

I can’t hide that?

When my brain and heart finally connected and wrapped around that part of it that God knows anyways, it was very freeing, to be honest, out loud to him.

And then the next step would be being honest with an account of somebody else.

Sure.

An accountability.

Accountability partner.

You know, being honest, if there’s another person involved, being honest with them, coming, coming clean, so to speak, of where you are and what’s been going on, whether you’ve walked away, you’re disconnected, or you’ve never been there.

You know, it’s all of the above.

Because confession really heals your heart.

Yes.

There’s nothing like that, you know, and confessing to God first because he already knows and then confessing to a trusted friend, you know, and getting some guidance on that.

You know, what do I do?

Now?

And it may be approaching somebody else then that you know you’ve wronged or whatever.

But, and this is where you’ll know we’re not theologians, but there is a verse in the Bible that says everything comes to light eventually.

Yeah.

So that’s a good verse.

You know, it’s, yeah.

That’s where you start.

And it’s baby steps.

It’s baby steps.

But I do believe it starts with being honest with yourself, with God.

And then humbling yourself to know where you need to work.

Do I need to get up 30 minutes before I’m getting ready for work to do study or 10 minutes before the kiddos wake up from a nap or before my husband gets out of bed or, you know, planning the time. Plan the time, making God a priority.

So what I’m hearing is a cry of my own heart to restore the relationship of God is going to be step one into my journey back to intimacy and closeness with him.

And it sounds like we keep bringing up the word spiritual disciplines, and we’re going to talk about them in just a second. But if I’m doing spiritual disciplines, like I’m doing all the right things, I go to church, I pray. I do all these things, but I am not in that place where I am humbly seeking that intimate relationship with Jesus, then all of those things could almost be fake or a waste of time.

And so my spiritual discipline is not measured by the acts that I’m doing, but the heart from which I’m doing them. Does that sound like what you guys were saying?

Very well said.

On a personal note, that was me.

I came to know Jesus or accept Jesus into my heart at 25 years old, started going to church, did small groups, did all the things. I did the things. I did the disciplines. I did never, I don’t ever remember fasting. I will argue. Say that. I have now, but not, then know.

But it was fake. If I’m going to own it, I never really knew what it meant to have an intimate relationship with Jesus, because we’re just going through the motions. 

Just going through the motions.

Interesting.

Didn’t have a strong spiritual leader also going through the motions, right? Trying to raise our kids to know Jesus, yet, you know, going through the motions. So it was that slippery slope.

It was easy for Satan to come in and say, just do this one step. Just do this one step and become the prodigal. Totally, completely turn away from God.

Wow.

Completely.

Because there was no true relationship.

Right.

I think that’s the crux of it there  – is to love.

And it might sound weird, but it’s truth.

You’ve got to fall in love with Jesus.

Love it.

And then once you have, he won’t ever let you down.

I love that.

Okay, well, we’ve talked about a couple of the the spiritual disciplines.

Let’s try to list some of them.

Can we do that, I mean, we, okay, so the ones we’ve covered, we’ve talked about prayer.

Prayer.

We’ve talked about Bible reading.

We’ve talked about going to church.

I mentioned worship.

Worship.

All right.

And you mentioned fasting.

I did mention fasting.

We don’t know what fasting means.

Stop it.

We said, we’ve mentioned rest, but we could say Sabbath.

Okay.

You want to explain that for somebody who doesn’t know that word?

It’s a day set aside to not work. Who doesn’t want to not work? And to spend it glorifying God and really that being your focus for that day.

So a day off to do what I want? No, that’s not what you meant.

No..

A day off to kick back?

A day off to rest and renew your soul.

So that’s a day to worship, a day to be in your Bible, a day to go to church or go to a small group, a day to listen to Life Reclaimed.

A day.

Oohhh, Shameless Plug.

Or your favorite, you know, podcast that you listen to that grows you and connects you to God.

Yeah, and the reason why it’s a discipline is because you have to plan for it.

You have to work hard all week in order to make sure you’ve got a whole day because none of us, I mean, everybody seems to be catching up and getting ready for the next week, you know, depending if you choose Sunday for your Sabbath.

But it takes a lot of work and plan.

And so that’s the part where you’re really honoring God. Because you are putting him first. And sure, you can do something you love. You can go bike riding or, you know, go to the beach or wherever it is that you can feel close to God. You know?

But man, if we all did that, can you imagine?

We might have better mental health.

Yeah, Better health, better mental health…

Yeah.

I mean, I don’t want to ask the question. Do you guys Sabbath?

No.

Sorry.

No.

No.

Period.

I would argue I do a half day Sabbath.

Me too.

I think mine is more of a half day.

And it used to be, it was Friday night to Saturday morning.

That was my Sabbath.

Because Sunday I’m generally pretty busy. Whether it’s church and then, you know, I would be getting my lesson plans ready or any of those things. So I just got in the habit of Friday night to Saturday, kind of midday would be my Sabbath.

And there’s no judgment in it at all.

It is a discipline, so it’s training yourself to do it.

It feels hard in the beginning.

It does feel hard.

Yeah.

So is there anything else that we could say is probably helpful in a spiritual discipline?

I think being involved in a small group, fellowship.

So we’re not meant to do life alone?

No.

Is that why this isn’t a podcast that has one host? Is that why we have three hosts?

Yes, it is.

Exactly why we have three hosts.

I think that is a big piece of the puzzle that may be a lot of women are missing.

Yes. Is true fellowship with women that you don’t have to feel you have to compete with.

Sure.

A group of women that will listen and not judge, that will hold you when you need to be held, lift you up, when you need to be lifted up.

That sounds like a great group.

Can I join that group?

Yeah.

Oh, wait, I did.

Oh, you did.

And just maybe have to hold you accountable too.

Yes.

Yeah.

You know, there is that iron sharpenpens iron.

I was thinking the same thing.

Yeah.

Iron sharpens iron and we need each other. To do that.

I love that.

And I really feel like anybody who thinks that they don’t need anybody, that’s Satan. That’s the enemy trying to keep you isolated.

Isolated, and alone.

Isolation is one of his biggest tricks.

Yes.

And the Bible is very clear, a strand of three chords is not easily broken.

Yep.

So that’s not just in marriage.

That’s with friendship as well.

So Nice.

Okay.

Well, which spiritual disciplines come naturally to you? And which ones feel a bit hard harder?

Well, I feel free to say why. 

I think we’ve established that Sabbath is difficult. Fasting is obviously, can be very difficult.

Okay, I do want to jump into fasting for just a second.

Let’s do it.

So, growing up, I was trained that fasting was food. It was a long process. You had to, you know, do all these rituals around fasting.

As I got older, we expanded the definition of fasting to be, I could fast from something that isn’t food related. So maybe I could fast from television or I could fast from something. And I finally got an understanding of what fasting is.

And fasting was taking that thing that’s distracting me that I’ve placed in front of God, pulling it out and putting God back in that place.

Ooh, that’s good.

And so for me, when I hear, oh, I’m doing a fast, I don’t immediately think that someone is not eating their favorite meal and praising God for it, I think they are trying to take the thing that’s a distraction in their heart, pull it out of their life or out of their time schedule for the week, and replace that with time with God so that he not only is what they’re praying through to help them through their fasting moment, but he’s what they’re hungry and thirsty for.

That’s what they’re chasing after with all their minds. What do you think of that?

I completely agree.

Yeah.

When I returned to God, when I came running home, the very first thing that I did was fast and it was… 

From food or from something else?

No, from secular music.

Okay.

I threw that out too.

Yeah.

Secular too. Secular music. I was called to fast for 30 days.

Wow.

And I tried to, I’d go back to secular music for a little bit and then flip back and forth. And now, for the most part, if you’re in my vehicle, it is Christian-based music, spiritual-based music to lift my soul. Otherwise, some secular music just takes my thought process and patterns down dark holes and roads and looking back and I don’t. I choose not to look back anymore.

Just you know, this, don’t look back, move forward.

And I’ve also done food fast.

I’ve fasted 30 days from from food. 

Food.

I’m sorry.

Wait.

How’d you manage that?

I did.

Ooh.

Yes.

Okay.

Yep. 30 days.

It was great. It was actually, it was hard.

I’m not going to lie. And it was really interesting because I knew God had called me to fast food for 30 days. There was a pastor at a HungryGen Church in Washington and he has a book that you follow along.

You do these devotions every day with a book and he puts out a video and it was all the support that you would need spiritually and how to pray when you’re fasting and and I felt the call. Like, you’re going to fast for 30 days.

Well, you know, I mentioned on our first episode that I go to the gym, like, I love to work out. I eat , I eat. I get my 150 grams of protein a day. Like I eat.

And I was like, there’s no way my body could physically do that and stay healthy. And so I started with, well, I’ll just eat one meal a day. I’ll have a protein shake and then one regular meal in the evening and I’ll no sugar, no, whatever. That’s all I’ll do. It’ll be meat, veggies, and a carb at dinner, and that’ll be it.

And so I did that for like three days and it was very clear this is not what I called you to do.

Wow.

Like it was so clear.

And I was like, oh gosh.

Okay.

So I just did it. I just did it.

And I did that study. And every time my tummy would growl, I would literally stop and pray and be on my knees and thank him for his provision. And what are you doing What work do you want to do in me? I’m open to it.

Like, I have never felt so close to Jesus.

Wow.

And if it’s something that has been on your heart, because I’ve met a lot of people who are like, yeah, I felt like I was called to fast, but I was like, I can’t go that long without food.

I’m like… Okay, yes, you can. We’re designed to.

Jesus did it. You can do it.

And so I, I would encourage anybody if you feel like it’s on your heart that you should fast three days, five days, seven days, one day.

It’s not for diet. It’s not to lose weight. It’s to connect to Jesus.

It’s to literally intertine your soul with his. That’s how I felt.

Did you give you any kind of clarity on anything during that time?

Yes.

Because I’ve heard that that, you know, that happens too, when you, you’re so focused that usually you get some answers that you’ve been wondering about and just, you know, clarity.

I did.

I got, I got several pieces of clarity, but the biggest piece was, is that I was to stay in my marriage.

Wow.

That’s clarity.

Yeah.

I do just want a disclaimer as well.

We are not recommending that you don’t eat for the next 30 days and then end up sick or in a hospital. Please seek the advice of professionals. Thanks.

It is very, it is in your best interest if you are going to fast for a length of time, that you’re doing it with other people. At that time, like I said, it was HungryGen Church, and the whole church was doing it. Like they called the whole church to fast these days.

They, at that church were seeking just clarity for their provision with God and drawing closer to God. And I just happened to come across them and definitely the Holy Spirit was like, yeah, you’re doing this.

Like, okay.

But I had them as a resource.

Yeah.

The book was free. You downloaded it. So if you’re going to do it, find a group to do it with.

Yeah.

Perfect.

So which spiritual disciplines come naturally?

I don’t know if any come now naturally.

Okay.

Is it natural for you to want to get up and go run five miles?

No, never. Not once.

No.

Is it natural to get up and, you know, go to the gym and work out and lift heavy? Like, I don’t think any of those are natural that it’s just a discipline. You just train yourself to do it.

Sure.

So has there ever been a time when being spiritually disciplined felt hard or painful? You don’t have to go into detail.

She’s laughing at the rolling of the eyes. Oh, gosh.

You can just give us the generals.

Do you have anything that comes to mind?

Oh, yeah.

Several times.

I would say, I’ll give you an example. When we had our third son, I wanted to stay home because I didn’t have the privilege of staying home with my first two. And so I wanted to stay home. We worked that out and I had this great devotion time. I got to spend all this time with God. It was amazing.

So pretty soon I have to go back to work now and I’m now teaching and doing all the things and now my time that I used to spend with Jesus is now shrunk by a lot because I have all these other demands, you know, new school, new curriculum, new whatever, and managing all the kids and managing all of their after school activities and making sure I have a healthy marriage. And I mean, like add on the pile.

And plus, you got to feed everybody, right?

So I found that when I get a really solid time with God, I do better because I’m closer to him. And then when I start to get distracted, I get up on my own feet and I realize very quickly that I’ve gone off the rails again. And I think that has happened to me on multiple occasions.

When I’m close to him, when I’m in the word, when I’m praying, I feel like things go a lot better.

As soon as I get busy or as soon as I get confident or arrogant and I get on my own feet and start into my own path, I think sometimes I’ve chosen, without asking the Lord, what my next direction is.

And that has sent me down a spiral of not even like I wasn’t sinning. I was doing good things, but I was doing it without him. And not for him. And that became the distraction.

And so I still had to walk myself back and go back through the whole cycle like you explained earlier because it wasn’t where he wanted me for that season.

And not even maybe just that, but when you start going down and doing the things, maybe he wants you to do these things, but now you’re doing them on your own.

Right.

Rather than within his power and within his strength and within his love and within his joy. It’s just you and you as a human, you just don’t have, 

I don’t have what it takes…

The capacity.

Yeah.

We just don’t.

And I, and I think that is our biggest struggle as human beings is our pride. Be honest with yourself that you do not have the capacity to live this life to the fullest.

Yes. 

Without Jesus.

Can’t do it.

I just can’t do it.

Like I, it breaks my heart for people who don’t know Jesus because I’m like, how do they live their lives without knowing there is a Savior that loves them so much.

I think this life has a lot of trouble.

The Bible says, in this life, you will have trouble, but take heart because I have overcome the world.

Well, I have come up to a lot of trouble in my life. And in that process, I have realized that there’s an end and the end is this amazing eternal life with Jesus..

So in the midst of my whatever I’m in, I still can say, okay, there’s this amazing ending we’re working for. I don’t know how you go through those hard times when you don’t see the end, when you aren’t sure of what’s… 

What’s next, what’s next, just death, just darkness.

That’s heartbreaking.

I think if I were going to answer the question about a time when being spiritually disciplined felt hard or painful or specific circumstances, what came to my mind was actually being unequally yoked, choosing a partner who did not value the same level of spiritual intimacy that I really wanted 

That you needed.

Yeah.

You know, I think you have to be so careful when you choose a partner and even choosing your friends because you need people in your life that support the level and amount of time that you want to spend, that will, you know, give you your quiet time, leave you at peace instead of interrupting or having an expectation during that time, you know?

And that was painful.

It was really painful and hard for me because I felt incredibly guilty to the Lord, and I thought, I guess I could just keep getting up earlier. You know, but at some point, you’re just exhausted and you need to sleep, but God sees, and he knows your heart, you know, he knows it. You want to spend time.

And I think that’s how I got really good at praying all the time.

Wow.

You know, 

That’s good Cindy.

Girls, we have gone so deep today.

I know.

We have tossed it in the ring and we’ve admitted stuff and we’ve gone deep.

And I just want to say to both of you again, thank you for being open with your lives and with the things that you are willing to share with us.

It’s amazing. And feeling like you don’t have the support to be as close to God could feel very trapped. Like, I can see how that would be very difficult.

Yes.

Wow.

Okay.

Do you got one?

Do you have one?

I resonated with you just that, you know, with travel or busyness.

Yes.

And it’s like, oh, I didn’t get in the Word today. And I would find myself, I’m gone for four days and I opened my Bible one time. By the time I’m back, I’m like, I’m, I’m, you know, a bear with the bear without fish. I don’t know what do you want to call it.

I’m frazzled. I’m, I’m snippy. I’m, you know, everybody.

Yes, it is just chaotic in the heart and mind. And then everything is spirals downward. And so it’s like, no , get up, get in the word, get back. And then you just have this rest and refuel with when you’re in the presence of God. And love that.

Wow.

Well, we’ve gone pretty deep. So let’s talk about the role of rest in our spiritual health.

Is rest a dirty word?

If you look at rest as I don’t do anything all day long, I just sit on the couch.

Have you ever done that? Sorry, don’t answer that.

Not since I was pregnant.

I know, only when I’m sick.

I can’t, I can’t even…

When you’re forced to into rest.

Yes.

It could be a dirty word because if people don’t understand what you you’re doing, especially if you’re taking time, a chunk of time, if it’s a Sabbath and you want to take a whole day or even a half a day or you’re like, you know what, today I’m going to go head to the foothill and just spend time with God.

If you’re not surrounded with friends or spouses that understand what that means, they’re going to have some kind of criticism to say about it.

Right.

Sure.

Oh, you just don’t want to fill in the blank.

Right.

Or just Did you clean your house first?

Did you get uhmmm?

What are you leaving your kids with?

Right?

Or what are you escaping? You know, you were going to have all of that negativity around it. But if it’s, you’re surrounding yourself with people who understand what it is, then I know, I don’t think it’s a dirty word.

I think they recognize, they’re going to be like, oh, good for you. I need to do that.

I think I told you guys that that’s my word this year.

Yeah.

Rest, you know, and so getting my, my mind around what does that look like? Because I really felt that impression on me that rest needed to be my word. Okay, what does that look like now?

And partly it’s, there’s the part of it where you’re doing less or you’re taking time away from, you know, not doing something. But then the other part of it is relax in me.

Trust in me.

Just rest. Don’t worry.

It’s the worry part for me. The just anxiety over stuff and trying to control stuff that’s completely out of my control that God has just said, rest, I have got this.

Yeah, if you want to go for a walk or whatever. But, you know, it’s about just trust me and just take it easy.

So an internal.

Yeah, an internal rest.

Rest.

Exactly.

Exactly.

When we think of rest, we do think more physical.

Yeah.

But an internal rest.

I like the idea of both.

I do too.

I like the idea of, our church showed this movie and one of the lines from the movie, Brenda and I have talked about this many times. The character is approached by another character who says, aren’t you worried about whatever, whatever. And the character says, “would it help?”

And for me, I’ve really started asking myself, when I start to worry or I start to spin or I start to cycle, I start to replace something.

I go, stop. Is Is this going to help?

And then, you know, that versea talks about take every thought captive?

Yes.

I’ve also started asking myself, is this true?

Whatever thought I’m having.

Is this true? And so between the, would it help and is this true? Those are the two questions I’ve started to come up with.

And it does help my mind rest a little bit more because I have a very active mind and I can, you know, run through everything I did or said that was terrible for the day and feel really bad about it.

And I’ve started to not have to do that anymore.

So that is amazing.

Praise Jesus.

But I love what you’re talking about, the idea of resting in him, trusting.

And I feel like some of us who maybe have had some moments in our life where we no longer trust people for various reasons, have a hard time trusting that God is in our best interest in control of things. And I feel like that is a really good thing if you can develop a rest and a trust in God that calms your heart, mind, soul, spirit, that is spiritually healthy.

Yes.

That is amazing.

The times that I have had the most inner rest, for my soul, my spirit, and for my physical rest has been at his feet.

And when you can make sure that that’s your priority in your schedule, you could have rest every day.

And I tend to find that I in my during my day when I feel like I’m getting restless, I can reflect back on my morning where… 

I was derailed?

Yes.

Like from my piece this morning with Jesus and learning and then bring it back. You know, like, no, he calls me. I don’t have to live in this restlessness.

I do also want to talk about this idea. If I try hard enough and do all my spiritual disciplines, does that mean I’m going to earn my salvation? Because my hard work and my spiritual disciplines, and I checked all the boxes and I did all the things?

Is that how that works?

Well, I think we were talking about that earlier, too, where it if your heart is not in it, then all of that is just, it’s just an act. It’s just a show. It’s like the Pharisees, you know, I mean, it, no, that’s, that’s not what it’s about .

So there is only one way that we have salvation.

Yes.

Yes.

Right.

And so that salvation is not anything I have done.

It is only what Jesus has done on the cross that allows me to have that salvation. So all of my spiritual discipline or work or all the things that I am doing to build that relationship still couldn’t save me. None of that is for my salvation.

It’s for what we call the sanctification, right? It’s the process of becoming more Christ-like every day, becoming more in love, becoming more alike, becoming more aligned with Christ every day. That’s what the spiritual disciplines offer me and keep me out of that distant isolation operating out of my shadow.

Right.

And so I just want to be clear when we talk about spiritual disciplines, I could do all of these things till I’m blue in the face, but it is not going to be my salvation.

It will not get me into heaven. I cannot earn my way there.

Right.

Correct.

John 3:16. 

Say it, 

For God so love the world that he gave his one and only that whoever believes in him shall not perish, but have eternal life.

It’s believing.

Right.

It’s not all of these things.

It’s once you believe the Holy Spirit takes over.

So I call that the redemptive story.

Yes.

I love a good redemptive story.

I love a good story where God restored what Satan had taken.

And that redemption of bringing that child back into his arms and healing those wounds and turning what could have been a disastrous part of someone’s life into an amazing, beautiful showing of how God can take even the most horrific moments and turn them into an amazing testimony.

What does the Bible say about being spiritually healthy?

I want to read this one.

1 Timothy 4:8-10 says, for physical training is of some value, but Godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present and the life to come. This is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance. That is why we labor and strive because we have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of all people and especially of those who believe.

Matthew 6:33-34 – But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow. For tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Okay.

That’s so meant that Oh, that verse.

I know that verse well.

And what does it mean to you?

The worrying.

Worrying for nothing.

It doesn’t do any good to worry. I just have to ask God. Remove the worry.

Help me, just to trust that you’ve got this because me worrying isn’t going to do anything, but make me sleep, make me agitated all of it. Me.

It’s just Oh, yeah, all of it.

Me worrying is not good.

Yep.

And tomorrow will have enough worry of its own.

So such good language. Good words.

Okay.

Proverbs 17:22 – A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

I want to be the cheerful heart.

Me too.

I feel like sometimes I’m the crushed spirit.

I know.

Yes.

I think we can all have those moments. We all can have that time. But I don’t want to live in that place.

R ight.

Right.

And we know there are hard things. And hard days.

And hard days days, but to not be downcast because really the next verse, Matthew 11:28 – Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. David cried out, heavy is his burden of sin.

And in the New Testament, we get Jesus to take those heavy burdens to. Once you can take those heavy burdens, you’re filled with that cheerful heart. It’s just this washing and cleansing.

And wash by. By the blood.. Let me tell you.

Wash by the blood.

All right.

You want to take that last one?

Hebrews 4:10 – For anyone who enters God’s rest also rests from their works just as God did from his.

All right.

Well, it sounds like some spiritual disciplines are on the table for this week.

So let’s see if we can explore some of them.

How about I close this in some prayer?

Is that cool?

Love it.

Ooh, holy God.

Abba Father, creator of all things, heaven and earth, the Alpha and the Omega.

Lord God, you are the first.

You, Lord, not only created all of this from nothing, you have a plan to redeem our sinfull story and allow us to spend eternity with you.

And Lord, we are so grateful for that sacrifice, for that story, for the fact that you had a plan all along, that even though we were tempted and we were dead in our sin that you would bring new life to us.

And so, Father, as we talk about health this season on our podcast, Lord, we ask that our health would be filled with you, that we would be so radiantly beaming your health, that it would be amazing, Father.

What we don’t want is to do all the striving and the working on our own and of our own accord and without you and in isolation.

We want to be close to you. We want to draw near to you. We want to hear from you.

And we want to do the things you’ve asked us to do and not do the things you’ve asked us not to do.

And so, Lord, God, we give you today.

We give you this time.

And we ask that as we go through all of these things that you would heal us, that you would cleanse us from all unrighteousness, and that you would allow us to be a little closer to you from spending some time with you in your son’s name.

Amen.

Amen.

Before we go, we’d like to invite you to the table.

This is something we are practicing together and we would love to hear from you.

This week’s reflection question is, “How do you shift your mindset when you start to feel like your spiritual health is work rather than enjoying the relationship?”

As we close, we pray that you would notice Jesus meeting you in the ordinary moments of your week.

He loves you.

He sees you.

He is fighting for you.

To answer the reflection of the week, go to lifereclaimed.net and you can send us an email or voicemail from there.

If you would like to stay with us, subscribing helps you catch each new conversation as it releases.

Until we are together again, may the grace and peace of Jesus go with you. 

John 3:16 – For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only son that whoever believes in him will have eternal life.

1 Timothy 4:8-10 – For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come. This is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance. That is why we labor and strive, because we have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of all people, and especially of those who believe.

Matthew 6:33-34 – But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Proverbs 17:22 – A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

Matthew 11:28 – Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

Hebrews 4:10 – for anyone who enters God’s rest also rests from their works, just as God did from his.