Habits That Heal

Welcome to Life Reclaimed, a place for honest conversations about faith, healing, and real life.

We are three friends learning to walk in freedom and trust God through the messy middle.

Pull up a chair.

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Let’s dive in.

Well, welcome to Life Reclaimed Podcast.

We are so glad you are with us today.

My name is Kim. I’m here with my friends, Brenda and Cindy.

And we are so excited.

So, today’s check in question, what is your favorite activity that restores your soul?

I love sitting and looking at a fire.

Oh.

If it’s the winter, that’s great. If it’s summer, we can do a fire pit outside. But I love just staring at a fire, and just listening to a crackle.

Oh, that’s so good.

What about you?

Ah, one of my newest activities to restore my soul would be just hanging out with my grandbaby.

Oh, so jealous.

One days at that stage of just, you know, giggling, and talking, and smiling, and playing. So he makes, he just fills my heart with joy.

Love that.

Oh, I can’t wait.

What about you?

Yes.

You know, I like to go to the water and the water is just one of those places that I really feel the Lord speak to me.

And so I feel I get his peace. I get refreshed and I just, I feel so much better when I’ve been to the water. You can usually tell when you look at me. When I’m not at the water, I dry out and I look parched. And when I get to the water, I’m like, woo, let’s go.

I love that.

Yeah.

Pretty fun. I hope that you guys also have something that you like to do that restores your soul.

We are near the middle, almost the end of season one.

We only have a few podcasts left in this season.

And this season has been all about healthy, thinking about healthy from every aspect.

Today feels a little different.

Instead of talking about what’s been hard or unhealthy, we’re turning toward what actually helps us heal and move forward.

So we’re not just talking about will power. We’re talking about small habits that actually reframe how you think, how you respond, and how you live.

Okay, we’re going to do an activity.

We each have a whiteboard here in front of us, so you can grab your own whiteboard, your own piece of paper, do this with us if you like.

For one minute, we’re going to brainstorm habits that heal.

We’re not going to overthink it. We’re not going to explain it. We’re just going to like rapid fire. And we’re going to say ours out out loud as we also write them down.

So we have our lists in front of us. So we have a timer set for one minute.

Yep.

You ready, Kim?

I’m ready.

All right.

All right.

Ready, set, go.

All right.

Journaling.

Ooh, good one.

Praying.

Time in the Bible.

That’s what I wrote. Bible. I also wrote eating.

Sleeping

Scripture, memorization.

Petting my dogs.

Time with family.

Gym workout.

There’s that gym.

Playing card games.

Oh, yeah.

Reading.

Oh, reading’s good –  gardening..

Laughing?

Yes.

Going to the water. That’s me.

Baking or cooking?

Oh.

I like cleaning.

Is that terrible?

Oh.. 

I do. I putter around and I just clean as I go. Makes me feel good with a clean house.

Five seconds.

Pressure.

That’s it.

Time. Your timer has stopped.

Okay.

Well, that was funny because as you were doing, like, as you were saying one, I was writing that one.

Like, I feel like we had similar things on our list.

So that was interesting.

Did you…

That was good.

Yeah.

Yeah.

How did that go for you?

I think it went well.

Well, now that we’ve done that quick list, let’s analyze real quickly.

Do you do any of these habits that help you?

I do the morning devotional time, the journaling, the prayer, scripture memorization, the working out. I had these other ones come to mind, which I was like, oh, those are things I could probably add, like the playing the card games.

Yeah.

Time with family.

Time with family.

Yeah.

The gardening. Rather more than rather than a chore, it’s a time to be maybe worshipping out there praying while you’re in the garden.

Yeah.

Thanking him for the nature.

Oh, yeah.

We didn’t have…

I didn’t worship. Worship.

I just put it on my list.

I know.

I love to worship.

All right.

How about you?

Do you use any of the things you wrote down?

Oh, absolutely.

Yeah, the journaling.

I love doing that.

And it is great for the soul because when you go back and read later, you see how God has answered your prayers, those things that you were worried about or whatever, it just answers to prayer.

And then daily time in the Bible, for sure, starting the day like that and being really committed to that.

Yeah.

And yeah, family time, reading, laughing, cleaning, all those.

Love it. Love it.

I had a couple that I didn’t say out loud besides worship, which I added, gratitude. Finding things to be grateful for, even on my hardest days, well, probably especially on my hardest days.

If I can find three things to be grateful for, it really does change my mindset.

And then, you know, Dr. Daniel Amen always talks about kill the ants, you know, kill those automatic negative thoughts. And so for me, that’s a healthy habit that I have to practice and practice and practice because I can spiral.

So I got to kill those automatic, you know, negative thoughts and that that can help a lot.

Is there anything on your list that you’ve not tried?

I guess we kind of each talked about that.

We’d like to play more and laugh more and spend more time with our family, apparently.

Yeah, I think so.

I think we’re recognizing also the importance of time and where we spend it.

Exactly.

Yeah.

And we only have a limited amount, so we want to spend it well, you know?

Doing the things that are healthy.

Did any of these habits not help you?

Was there anything on your list that you wrote that you were thinking, man, these don’t help me.

I’m not really sure cooking does because I’m not just makes a big mess that I then have to clean up.

Yeah, the baking thing.

No.

Yeah.

It always sounds so great. And that’s some people’s jam, right? If that’s where you find peace is in the kitchen, then go for it.

But I don’t necessarily think that’s mine.

Okay, I’m going to tell you a story.

So when I was 16, we’d come back from our European tour and we would, the people that all went on the European tour in this area, we would meet each month to like, you know, get together and we would do it at different people’s houses.

Well, we decided to do one at our house.

And like, you know, I was the only young person.

Everybody else was over 18 and I did not cook as a child. I didn’t cook. I was always in the dance studio. My mother was a great chef, so I didn’t need to cook.

So I’m trying to cook. I’d completely ruin the dinner, like beyond edible. And I left the house and did not come back until everybody was gone.

Oh my.

And we didn’t have cell phones back then or anything

You just took off. 

No one knew where I was.

I mean, let’s talk about unhealthy cooking.

Oh my goodness.

I just literally could not come back from it because I was so devastated at being a failure and I didn’t want to admit that I was a failure to them and I didn’t want them to see me in such a negative light that I had something I couldn’t do well.

Oh, it’s brutal.

16.

Yeah.

Yeah, I was 16.

But also, I had really high expectations for myself and I’m not a good cook. At least I wasn’t. I don’t know. Maybe I’m a little better now.

Okay, so you know an analyzing a list, there’s always something that you can take off.

Do you have anything you would take off your list? I don’t think I have anything. I’d really take off my list.

Mm.

No.

I don’t think so.

Okay.

I think it’s better to grow your list.

Right.

Yeah, we can keep it as we go through.

Yeah.

And have you avoided any of these habits, even though you know they’d be good for you? I think that’s an interesting thought.

Wow.

Do you have prayer on your list? I don’t, but I definitely do pray.

Yeah.

And I don’t avoid it.

Okay.

It was the first thing I said.

Nice, nice.

I think because you guys were saying stuff, I didn’t write those things on my list.

Right.

But I want them on my list because I definitely love to pray without ceasing as much as I possibly can.

Yeah.

Okay.

So we’re not avoiding our healthy habits.

Great.

Look at us.

We’re doing good today.

All right, so now that we’ve done a quick analysis, let’s pick our top three habits that heal.

What do we do most frequently?

I would say for me, the top three are going to be journaling, praying, and worship music. Those are just my easy go-tos..

What would you say?

Ditto, my top three, journaling, prayer, worship.

I guess I’m not much of a journaler? Mine would be worship, prayer and Bible.

You know, not necessarily that order, but..

I feel like when we talk about prayer, devotionals, journal, Bible, Bible, kind of all one.

Right, sure.

Okay..

I think that’s what keeps us focused on healing.

Yes..

I think that’s what’s promoting my healing.

Oh, amen.

Absolutely. Yes.

So if we think outside of that box, if that’s all one, what else do you do?

Because as, you know, a couple of us go to work.

Some of us don’t.

I mean, as much as we could sit in journal probably all day long, we can’t.

Right.

So what do we do when we step out of that time that continues to heal us?

And so, my first thought is, is sharing, sharing Jesus with others.

Nice.

Or, you know, if we’re not in a place where we can do that, but we are sharing his love through us, through being generous and helpful and gentle and kind.

Yeah.

Is a way to bring healing to your own soul, to give, to be generous

Love that 

Could be a way also.

I think making a commitment to be with other people where you are sharing too, you know, where you’re talking with them and you’re taking on kind of their stuff too.

It goes both ways. You know, I mean, that’s’s very healthy to be able to listen to somebody else. And if, you know, provide advice if they want it.

Otherwise, just listen and then have that person be there for you too. So I think that’s a healthy habit.. 

Being a safe space for someone, like a small group.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I also think reading books that help you grow.

So good. 

Is another way to continue is a great habit for healing.

I would say something I did when I was in my almost decade of not being able to walk. I would listen to podcasts of people who had gone through tough times and talk about how they made it through their tough season of life.

And a lot of it was centered around their relationship with God and how he was growing them through whatever season they were in. And that was really healing for me.

I would do that while I was in the hot tub trying to get some pain relief. And honestly, people kept saying, how are you making it through this time?

And I could, I can say listening to those stories of other people really gave me strength to know that God was there for them and God is going to be there for me. And I think that was really helpful.

Praise Jesus.

Yeah.

Great.

So why do you think some of these habits are good for us, physically, emotionally, spiritually, what do you think they do for us?

I think one of the things they do is they turn my attention away from me and they turn my attention to God. I can’t solve my problems or even make it through a day, but he can solve my problems and he’s got enough strength and power and energy for me to make it through a day. So I think that’s part of why these habits help.

What do you guys think?

I don’t think that would be part of it.

I think that would be the totality of it.

You know, these other pieces of living out the fruit in our lives.

Yeah. Bring us joy internally, you know, which can affect our emotions and our mental state, our spiritual level.

Physically, I think when you are acting out the fruits and you’re being filled with joy, you, you’re physically able to release the stress that you may have in your life.

You, We know our nervous system holds on to so much.

Yes.

And when we are doing these habits of healing, we’re able to release those bad habits.

Yeah.

You know, we’re able to heal the wounds.

Well, and also, you know, I’m sure you can speak to this, the idea that, you know, maybe exercise is a really good habit for us emotionally. And you know what that does physically, you know, releasing the endorphins and all that.

So you actually are really helping your physical body, your mind. And that sometimes just clears the space so that you can have better thought.

Yeah.

You know, 100% not confusion and, you know, depression and stuff like that.

I think the strongest days have been when I was struggling, maybe emotionally or mentally, and I still worked out. It helped so much because of those endorphins and all of what you were just talking about.

And the beautiful benefit of that was me actually coming back to the situation and not being at that same level of sadness, but being able to be above it a little bit. And it really does change your outlook.

So yeah, that’s great.

I agree.

I agree.

I think when I’m in the gym, when I’m finished, I think the hardest part is to get there to the gym is to get into the workout or whatever you’re doing.

But then once you’re in it and then you finish, there there is this sense of relief and accomplishment and, okay, now I can think and process and move forward.

Love that.

Great benefit.

All right.

If someone listening has not had success on her journey to becoming healthy, which healthy habit would you recommend she try first and why?

This is so good.

That’s tough.

Yeah, we’re all so different.

I think it starts with your internal your relationship with God, your thought patterns. I think it starts there.

So I guess if I’m thinking it starts there, I would maybe make that argument for praying, seeking God, reading your Bible, get a scripture that meets you where you’re at and memorize that scripture.

Let it become just part of your being. And from there, you can accomplish anything.

Love that.

I actually was going to say prayer too. I was going to say for me, I think I start with prayer. And then if I can, I’m going to find Bible verses where God is pouring over me because generally if I’m not feeling in a healthy place, I’m probably feeling not great.

And so if I can start being reminded of what God thinks about me and reminded of how much he loves me, even just feeling love from somebody, particularly the God of the universe, but even from anybody can really change your mood.

And so I really feel like prayer and getting in the Bible is probably where I would start.

What do you think?

I think I would even take it just a little bit of a step back.

For somebody who’s just starting. I know when I first started, I downloaded the Bible app and I’ve read the Bible. I mean, I’ve read the Bible and I’ve gone to church and I pray and all that.

But having the Bible app and then consistently opening it every morning, having guided prayer because sometimes you don’t, you know, what should I pray about today and having a scripture that they provide and some teaching about that. And it’s quick.

And if you want to take your time longer, you can always take it longer. But if you just are just trying to get in and just do something, I think that that’s a really good place to start.

That’s so great.

So they have their daily guided, I don’t know what they call it now. It used to be the verse of the day.

And then in there, they have, you know, the passage. They have a video, but then there’s also Bible plans. If you’re not doing just the daily one, we all have, you know, done plenty of the Bible plans that the YouVersion Bible app has.

And I’m actually really grateful for that because it has been really helpful to be able to search for the particular thing that you want to study or the thing that you want to work on, whether it’s confidence or whether it’s, you know, your theology.

I mean, they’ve got the whole gamut, so it’s actually really been a blessing.

So that’s great. Great suggestion. Okay.

So then what would you say to someone who’s not feeling super healthy at this moment? What hope can we offer?

That’s really good.

I would say, breathe. Take a breath.

Be able to say, I might be in a bad spot at this second, but it’s going to get better and I’m going to be okay.

And even if my circumstances don’t change, there is a God who loves me and is going to walk with me in the middle of these circumstances. Because sometimes the storm that you’re in doesn’t change, and particularly not usually right away.

But if you know that God is with you in the storm, you can then carry through the rest of the journey, right? So I would say taking a breath, going back to that gratitude, knowing that God loves you and is carrying you through that storm.

What do you guys think?

I agree.

I would also reassure them that they’re not alone.

Yep.

I think that goes hand in hand with what you’re saying, that God is there with you.

He never leaves you nor forsakes you.

He’s never going to leave you nor forsake you. You need to reach to him. And he’s right there.

I also would say find someone that you can confess what you’re walking through to a safe space.

Right.

So I love what you said about finding a trusted friend that you can confide in. And I would say to just community, maybe putting yourself out there and joining a small group who’s studying a book that you think would be helpful or just a Bible study. Could be really helpful.

I know that we’ve grown some really strong friendships, you know, from ours. And I just think it means the world and is so healing.

I love that.

I agree.

Okay.

Well, I think we should dive into a couple of things on our list and then thinking about what you were just saying, what could we offer someone?

For instance, let’s say that I go ahead and I start praying and I start reading my Bible. But I’m not necessarily feeling changed right away. If I start thinking about my mindset, let’s talk that for a minute, okay?

Mindset has a lot to do with how I approach my daily life. And if my mindset ends up being positive, I’m going to approach my life very differently than if my mindset for the day comes in negative.

I don’t know if you’ve had that experience lately.

Yeah, sure. And it is a conscious choice.

Yes.

You make the decision. And sometimes that’s very, very hard. But, you know, again, starting your day, maybe doing your devotion and just saying, this is going to be a good day. I’m going to make this a good day. I don’t know.

That’s actually a psychology tip that you start off the day saying today is going to be a good day.

Yes, I don’t get that when I wake up in the morning.

I think it’s hard to address this question of what can we offer beyond knowing a relationship with Jesus, is because we don’t know every circumstance.

Right.

That everybody is in. Because I can imagine I probably would have been in a place hearing that and going, okay, yeah, I’ve been there, done that.

I’m doing that. What more is there? Please give me something else. Because I’m not feeling that connection or I’m still struggling.

I’m still snapping at people or I’m still frustrated at the end of the day and I’m trying so hard. So I, I’ve been there.

And to that, I would go back to it, is a choice and it’s intentionality. And I have intentionally walked away, physically walked away, knowing what was going to come out of my mouth next or where that conversation was going to lead.

I’m doing all the things. I’m apologizing or I’m trying to have a healthy conversation with someone and they are continuing to just be mean and say more mean things on top of maybe what actually occurred.

Sure.

And you have a choice at that moment to also, you know, retaliate or react and add more mean things to their mean things.

Right.

It seems like it’s not going to help.

Right.

Or this is where you go, oh, no, I’m trying to make a change. I’m going to end this conversation now and walk away.

Right.

And it’s hard. It’s hard because we do. As women, we have lots. We’ve talked about this before, lots of plates spinning, lots of things going on.

I don’t have time for all of that.

But I guarantee you, the more you intentionally make that choice, the easier it will be and the less chaos and anxiety you will have.

So let me ask you, does that mean I get to go hhummmphh and walk away like that?

Is that what you’re talking about?

Like in the movies flip your head. Fine and walk off.

No.

Okay, that’s Is that what you mean by walk away?

I’m actually thinking about one conversation with a person I’ve had. This happened and I hurt them, not and with intent.

And I didn’t mean to. My actions, wasn’t my intent.

It wasn’t a big, big thing. In life, but I, I hurt their feelings and I owned it and I was like, okay, I’m going to address it.

I’m going to talk to her. I’m going to apologize. Like that was not my intention. Please forgive me. I’m so sorry.

And all I got through my own gentleness and apology were mean things.

And I stood there and in my mind, in the back of my head, all these other things I could say, were popping through my head.

Like, you’ve all been there. We’ve all had this face to face with someone and, oh my gosh, the things that I the enemy really wanted me to say.

And I intentionally took a step physically back away from her, took a deep breath, and told myself internally, no, don’t say those things.

I’m not going to say those things. And I just said, I’m sorry you feel that way. And I walked away.

Wow.

There was, and it was just a gentle walking away. I’d already stepped back physically from her. I just, I’m sorry you feel that way. And I turned around and walked away.

So it’s intentionality, though.

I want to say, let’s take that another scenario. Let’s say that I’m the one who’s saying those mean things to me.

They’re happening in my head. And that actually, that cycle feeds to unhealth, right?

In, you know, whether it’s anxiety or depression or whatever angle it comes out, it leads to unhealth.

So how could I, again, going back to kill the ants, how could I use a positive mindset on my own mind in my own thoughts?

How is it that you were able to stop what you were about to say? And not actually say them.

I mean, everyone’s been there where that thing that like is just on the tip of your tongue that you want to say, and you just like blurts out, and you wish you could just like grab it and pull it back and put it back in, but the damage is now done.

So I feel like that happens in our own minds too.

Like we do that a lot to ourselves and we say, oh, you should have done this better or oh, you should have, you know, you should look like this or you should be like this. Or if you could bake better or if you could cook dinner better and not burn it, you know, whatever the situation is, I wonder how do we give some practical handles and practical advice on that?

Well, I would argue one way is to have sticky notes with scripture.

Oh, yes.

So it’s right there, visually for you to see it. It’s knowing what you’re thinking, you know, metacognition, you know, think about what you’re thinking.

Think about what you’re thinking about and where that’s going to take you and having to intentionally turn the other direction.

And maybe you have to practice going out and taking a walk.

I’m going to turn up the music.

Maybe there’s things that you need to actually physically do to change what’s going on at that moment because I know I don’t want to call it a distraction, but if you’re in a thinking a negative spiral, you have to do something to break the spiral to break the spiral and there’s nobody there to throw a pail of cold water on you.

They can’t see what’s going on inside your brain. So you have to do it. You have to throw the bucket of cold water on yourself. And that’s doing a drastic physical physical change.

Yeah.

Sometimes it’s changing the room. Sometimes it’s changing the building. Sometimes it’s going for the walk.

Sometimes it’s getting to that gym. Sometimes it’s going to that church. Sometimes it’s putting on that music and dancing in the living room like nobody’s watching.

And it’s amazing.

Just since worship is really, you know, my thing, it’s amazing. If I can dance through a song, how much happier and lighter I feel.

Yes.

It’s crazy. It’s really crazy.

It may be picking up the phone to call that safe person.

That’s true. Can you pray over me? Can you help me work through these negative thoughts I’m having?

And that has to be a safe person.

Sure.

That’s a great idea.

I would call you two.

Yeah.

I would call you two.

100%.

I think we text each other all the time. Pray for me.

Yes.

And we’ve talked to you about for every negative message that you’re giving yourself, you should give yourself a positive one.

God loves me.

God created me, just as I am.

Pull out a scripture, you know, and just try to intentionally, as you said, just, just start feeding yourself those messages over and over.

Even if I don’t believe them yet?

Yep.

Even if you don’t believe them.

Yeah.

This is where the practice of gratitude works for me.

So if I can find three things that I’m thankful for that day, not just like, I’m grateful I woke up today, you know, but like really three, things that meant something to me.

And I might have to start with, I’m grateful I woke up that day and I might be in the Eeyore tone, right?

Like, that’s fine if I have to start there.

But as I build on the habit of gratitude, I can really start to go down a list of things that I’m grateful for that the Lord has done for us and provided for us and gifted us with.

And I mean, as I start to pray for the gratitude, that actually really changes my mindset.

It opens this whole new possibility expansion where I had reduced the situation in my mind to a very small solution and a very large problem.

The more I find gratitude actually shrinks the problem and expands the solution. So it actually reverses that for me. Gratitude is not my normal.

I don’t think in terms of gratitude, just from the life that I’ve lived.

But if I can remind myself to find the positive things and be grateful, truly, honestly grateful for them, it really does switch something in my mind and in my body, physiologically, I can tell the difference in how I feel.

Well the Bible instruct us multiple times throughout and be thankful.

And be thankful in Thanksgiving.

Give thanks.

Give thanks..

There’s a lot of give thanks.

I wanted to touch back on the negative thoughts.

Yes, sure.

Research shows that for every negative comment, you need five, I was going to say positive.

Out of proportion.

Yes, comments to negate that one negative.

Yeah.

So we talk a lot about this in education with children, you know, when we get these students in front of us, what they’ve already heard and what’s been poured into them, to what we try to do is that, right?

The positive daily basis for them. But we as adults need that also. So if we’ve heard as women, all the negative, right?

And then we’re feeding it to ourselves as well..

Yes, comparison it to ourselves.

And then social media.

I mean, all the things, right? Maybe we live in a house with somebody who’s ultra negative and they’re giving it to you.

Yes.

Or maybe they’re not even giving it to you. Maybe it’s just rubbing off.

Yes.

I don’t know if you’ve ever been in that situation. Maybe one of your good friends is sort of in a bad space and just being around them, you kind of find yourself in that bad space too.

Yeah.

It’s true..

It’s true.

So I think, again, I maybe we were going to overuse this word, but intentionality, you, you have to be intentional with yourself, with your own thoughts.

That’s why I love the sticky notes.

Yes.

All around in your car, on the mirror, in your office, wherever you are changing table, whatever you are, there’re sticky notes.

And I caught my girls do the same thing.

Like I’ll see it on early an index card and something’s written down or, you know, the sticky note.

And I’m like, okay.

Oh, that’s sweet.

It’s great. And I think as young adult, young girls, you start feeding that now.

But as as we get older, you know, we have to remember to keep practicing that. The negative is not what God had in mind for you.

I can’t tell you how long I had a healthy, whole, and healed on a sticky note. I was like, I just need to make this out of like, you know, cricket, like vinyl.

Like, I just need to put this on my mirror in the bathroom in just a little tiny corner that just says healthy, whole, and healed.

But now it would say healthy, whole, healed ,and free because we’ve added free to it.

But honestly, just the reminder of the thought of being healthy, being whole, being healed, walking in freedom makes me go, wait, am I acting like I’m healthy today?

Am I acting like I’m whole, and I’m healed, and I’m free? Because if I can recognize it, I can start that shift. And I can ask myself, why am I not feeling healthy, whole, healed and free?

Why am I not feeling, you know, positive? And why am I not feeling like things are going well? And then I can attack those and take the word of God and literally replace it with those things that are bringing that negativity.

That’s great.

It’s hard.

Now what we’re saying is not easy.

It takes practice for sure, over and over and over and over.

Yes.

Yes.

Well, if you were going to think of a time in your life where you really felt like you had healthy habits, which season of your life would you point to?

I have to say now.

Oh, really?

Why?

Well, finally, in my life, I have time. It feels like, you know, when you’re in your 50s, your kids are grown. You’re not so involved in all of their stuff.

You know? So just having more time, and time to myself has been really great for establishing healthy habits.

Wow. That’s great. I love that. How about you?

I would have to argue now also.

I mean, I can look at the list and know there was a time in history where I opened my Bible or I was in a small group, but nothing like it is now.

My relationship with Jesus is number one and that purposeful time with him on a daily basis is what gets me through and keeps me grounded and has allowed me to do the other work with recognizing the negative thoughts.

I would argue now.

What about you?

I would say I can point to kind of two times. I would say now for sure, because I’ve been really working at consciously being the most healthy part of me.

And that’s who I want to remain and keep moving forward and become more and more healthy. And so I would say I’m doing well now, but I would say some of the times when I was in some of the most trauma, there was this presence of the Holy Spirit that carried me through in such a way that I would say I was almost super connected, you know, to the Holy Spirit and to God.

And I feel like, man, those moments were amazing too, because they might have been yucky on the outside and I might have had some yucky things happening.

But through that prayer and through that worship and through that gratitude of literally, I have nothing to give today and you have made an amazing day happen.

And just seeing God show up after time and time and time in my life during that, you know, moment, really made me think that healthy habits are important, even if I didn’t have it all together then.

Does that make sense?

Oh, yes, absolutely.

I mean, I can think of a time as well. You know, that was a very, very dark time. And that was the time when I was very close to God as well.

Yeah.

Same thing.

And I saw miracles happening over and over. I was really involved in a church, had great church friends. And a mom’s prayer group. My kids were still young and I was meeting up with these other moms.

So, so yeah, I think I can, I can remember other times. I just kind of feel like right now because I have more time on my hands. I’m able to practice healthy habits.

Yeah.

Yeah.

If you could pick one thing that you’d like to get better at, one of the healthy habits that maybe we’ve talked about my, maybe we haven’t.

If you had to pick one that you’re still kind of working on, which one would you say you’re working on right now?

I mean, I feel like we’ve listed a lot of like really deep prayer work and scripture work and in the Word. So I feel like those are off the table. You can’t pick one of those.

Because I think we’re all really pursuing that right now. So what do you think would be another healthy habit that you might want to try soon?

I know I can always exercise more. That is the last thing that I do. It’s terrible.

It’s terrible. But, you know, between work and other things, I just don’t get to it. And I know mentally, you know, how much more that would help me. So as soon as this school year’s out.

It’s almost there.

I know.

Just a few more weeks. Then I’m really going to do it.

Love it.

No, but I do.

I do intend to kind of get myself into a better habit and pattern than I have been in.

I love that.

I have a couple actually that come to mind generosity.

Oh, that’s so good.

I know that we’re called to be generous.

And I think when I’m so busy with life and things, I don’t pause to see where I need to give. And so I think I’ve been working on that generosity.

And on that same page, I also feel like when I have conversations with people, I can tend to be not engaged with the conversation per se, but I’m just listening to listen and not recognizing what they need in that moment.

Got it.

And that could be because for me, my list is long, my to-do list is long and I need to get back to my to-do list.

Yeah.

And today I was really thoughtful in that this morning in my prayer time of like, Lord, just let me slow down and recognize when people need to feel validated, or when people need something, and I let me discern what they need so I can give it.

But I had to be intentional.

And today it was like every time I got to engage with somebody, I was like really listening, like really like, what do they need from me?

Is it words? Is it a hug? Is it help? What is it?

And God was faithful and answered that prayer today multiple times.

Wow.

And I realized, man, I should be exhausted, but I felt so much joy today through that.

And that really, I think, is part of your healing, and forming those habits to help you heal and experiencing God’s joy.

The whole thing about God loves a cheerful giver, right?

And I believe it could be time. It could be money, whatever. I think God loves for us to be ready for him to use.

And what a blessing and what a great story that 

It was great. 

You were able to do that generously and to really think, I feel like sacrificial love is God’s jam.

And I feel like that is the expression of sacrificial love when I can put down my to-do list, really engage in somebody’s life and offer them something they might need, even if it’s just the hook or a compliment or a, you got this. Keep going. Don’t give up. I believe in you.

You know, whatever encouragement they need, I think that’s a sign of God’s overflow from inside of you to the people around you. That’s cool.

Well, and I also think when you, you know, I work all day and I engage with a lot of different people of all ages, especially with adults, recognizing we’re all at the end of the school year.

Right.

Right.

We’re all stressed out. We all have a list going on. And it feels so much better to be able to stop and pause, and be kind and gentle with people, and be generous than it is to be cranky all the time.

And I’m not going to say I’m cranky all the time, but I just don’t stop and pause.

Sure.

Because you’re busy and you’re trying to get your things done, and you only have so many hours in a day. Totally get that.

Wow.

The God is working on me.

Wow, these are great, you guys, so far. I don’t know that I have a good one.

I’m always, I feel like I’m always trying to work on everything.

So, I mean, I really am on a journey and I’ve been on a journey for the last five years.

So I think just continuing to make sure that my focus is right, that I’m listening to the right voices, and that I am doing what the Lord has for me.

I’ve really been kind of struggling with that lately. Once you retire, you’ll, you’ll think it’s great for a little bit, but then you can feel a little lost.

I felt like I was giving at our school and very, you know, involved in our community and I felt like it was really important.

And then, you know, we left that, and we moved away, and I didn’t know anyone up here and I didn’t have anybody to serve and I didn’t have anybody to take care of or to bless or anything.

And so it has been a little bit of a wandering journey for me of, okay, Lord, I have this new time in my life and this new opportunity. What do you want to do with it?

And so that’s been, I don’t know, that’s been a very interesting journey to get healthy habits when I don’t have to get up and go to work, but let me tell you, I feel like I spend a lot of hours working on all of the projects I’m doing.

There’s no chance you could say I’m a slugger or a sloth or any of those things. I am definitely on the move and constantly doing stuff, but it’s not committed, you know, timewise a lot.

But I just don’t I don’t think I can give up yet. And I think I am waiting for the Lord to really clearly tell me where we are and what we’re doing, which he doesn’t always do. I don’t always get those neon signs.

So I think the habit of obedience and steadiness, even when I don’t understand, maybe that’s what I’m working on.

Those are good.

Yeah.

That’s good.

I think you started with, I don’t know, and then landed 

Answered pretty well there.

Yes.

Well, what do you think?

How about some scripture connection.

I love it.

Let’s do it.

What I love is that none of this is new. Scripture has been pointing us to these habits all along.

Matthew 11:28-30 says, Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

I love that verse. Man, that verse speaks to me. Does that ver sespeak to you?

Every day.

Have you been to the all who are weary and burdened well?

Well, you will find rest for your souls. It’s a promise.

Right.

Proverbs 4:20-22 is another great one.

My son, pay attention to what I say. Turn your ear to my words. Do not let them out of your sight. Keep them within your heart, for they are life to those who find them and to one’s whole body.

I love that.

And I think we spent most of the bulk of our time talking about the habit of being in the word, or in pray, or in scripture.

And I think this is the epitome of that.

And that’s why for they are life to those who find them and health to one’s whole body.

Yes.

Because Satan is the deceiver and he’ll try to trick you, but if you know the word of God, you can combat that.

Philippians 4:8 – Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable. If anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things.

I learned this verse when I was little, and I think this is why I have backed out of a lot of things in my life.

For instance, we talked one episode about secular music and, you know, about some of the shows and movies that I didn’t want to watch or didn’t want to see anymore, or some of the whatever.

And I think it’s because I want to think about what is true and noble and right and pure and lovely and admirable. And if I start to go down certain rabbit trails, I don’t think about those things. I think about other things.

And so in order to guard my own heart , do you know that song? Be Careful, Little Eyes, what You See, right? Be careful little ears what you’re hear, right?

Because you’re going to repeat those things and so if I continually, I’m thinking about God’s Word or if I’m continually thinking about what is lovely and how can I be a generous person and serve these people that I am in community with this week or, you know, today?

I mean, I feel like those things are lovely and pure, right? And so I want to be the person who’s thinking about those things. I don’t all the time. Trust me.

I don’t all the time, but that’s what I want to be thinking about.

It’s hard. We live in the world.

Yes.

It’s all around us. Again, thinking about what you’re thinking, if you’re watching something and you can’t just watch it for entertainment, I guess, it’s taking you down other rabbit holes and leading you to sin. Then we come back to this verse.

We need to reflect and decide, oh, that’s not a good habit.

That habit’s not healing. That habit is taking me from further away from God.

Even some people will get on social media and then pretty soon they’ll be feeling like they’re missing out or they’ll be feeling like everybody else has this better life or they’ll be feeling judged or they’ll be feeling like there’s this opinion about them.

I mean, there’s so many like ways that the algorithm sort of tries to taint your thinking and very soon, I can only be on social media for just a little tiny bit of time.

And then I have to always say, is this lovely? Is this pure? Is this admirable?

I don’t know.

Yeah.

I guess it depends on what your algorithm’s full of. I try to have my algorithm full of Christian speakers. So I’m constantly being fed more Christian talks, if you will, or pastors who are saying stuff.

So my algorithm actually is really interesting.

I’ve got some really cool people I get to listen to, but I I only put I put a timer on for five minutes a day if I’m even there every day. But I’ll put a timer on and when that five minutes wrap, I get off.

That’s good.

That’s a great habit.

That’s a very good habit.

Wow.

I just don’t want to go down the 45 minutes, three hours, six hours.

It happens so fast.

It’s shocking.

Yeah.

I always think, what else could I be doing right now?

Yeah, I read a statistic that said, the amount of screen time starting at 18, if you, the average amount of screen time right now is four hours a day.

And if you got from 18 to 75 and you had that amount of screen time, I’m going to blank on the exact number, but it was something like 11 years or something.

That’s probably not right. But it was like a large amount of years that you had wasted on the screen. We could do the math real quick.

But you get the idea that it is wild, how much time you will have lost out of your real, real life where you could be interacting with real people. But instead you’re interacting just with your phone, which isn’t always lifegiving.

And that’s an average.

It’s an average.

That’s an average.

And some people are more than four hours a day.

And younger.

Yeah, and they started younger..

Started younger.

Man, We’re getting off on a tangent.

I should do the math.

Okay.

That’s right.

Well, we have a couple things that we still want to do.

So we’ll close in prayer and then we’ll finish up.

Holy God,

We are so, so excited to be in your presence today.

Lord, thank you for bringing us together.

Thank you for allowing us to sit around the table and to think about you, to think about healthy habits, to think about the work that you have done in our lives, the things that you’ve carried us through and the way you’ve never forsaken, or abandoned, or left us in the situations we were in, but that you walked alongside of us and half the time carried us through it.

And so, Lord, we give you all praise. We give you the glory for helping us heal.

We give you the glory and the praise and the honor for keeping us sane through some trials and some tribulations in our life.

 And Lord, we’re so grateful that your sacrificial love of Jesus on the cross has cleansed us from all of our sin and we’re so grateful that now we get to express that sacrificial love to those around us.

And so thank you, Lord, for the work you did on the cross.

Thank you for the work you’re doing in each one of us and our lives.

And thank you, Lord God, that we can try tomorrow to start a new healthy habit in your son’s holy name.

Amen.

Amen.

Please hear this today. Healing doesn’t usually come from one big moment.

Never.

It comes from small, faithful steps over time and trusting that God is at work in those steps.

I think when you get to the other side of a moment and you’re able to look back, you can actually see how those little steps helped.

And I think sometimes when you’re in the middle of that moment, it’s hard to see.

Yes, I agree.

But taking that one step in front of the other of those healthy habits can really change how you get through that muddy middle.

For this week, we want to invite you into something a little different:

A 30 day healthy habit challenge!

I love this. I love this idea.

So what is one healthy habit you’re willing to commit to for the next 30 days?

Oh, please don’t pick five.

Just one.

Just pick one. One small habit. You can actually follow through one.

For sure.

We’re not chasing perfection. We’re practicing consistency. So it’s okay if you miss a day. If you miss two days, it’s fine.

Just pick it up again.

Exactly.

And after those 30 days, you can always choose another habit.

Yes.

You can keep building.

Oh, I love this.

So maybe it’s reading a few verses in the morning going for a short walk or taking a moment to pause and pray each day.

The way we’ll know what your 30 day healthy habit challenge is?

You can go to our website and on our website, you can either send us an email or leave us a voice message. If you’re willing to share what you are going to pick up for the next 30 days, we’d love to partner with you.

We’re going to try to work on ours. We’re going to pick one too. It’s going to be kind of a fun challenge. So for the next 30 days, what do you say?

Should we jump in, try a new healthy habit?

Hey, let’s do it.

I love it.

Okay.

Sounds good.

If you take one thing from today, let it be this. The road to healing is a journey. Let’s get moving. Together, we can take one step at a time.

Thanks for sitting at the table with us.

We’ll leave you there for now.

May God meet you in the small, quiet places this week.

As we close, we pray that you would notice Jesus meeting you in the ordinary moments of your week.

He loves you.

He sees you.

He is fighting for you.

To answer the reflection of the week, go to lifereclaimed.net and you can send us an email or voicemail from there.

If you would like to stay with us, subscribing helps you catch each new conversation as it releases.

Until we are together again, may the grace and peace of Jesus go with you. 

Matthew 11:28-30 – Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest…

Proverbs 4:20-22 – My son, pay attention to what I say… for they are life to those who find them and health to one’s whole body.

Philippians 4:8 – Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable… think about such things.

Apps

• YouVersion Bible App
• YouVersion Bible Reading Plans
• Guided Scripture

Books

• Craig Groeschel – The Power to Change
• Dr. Daniel Amen – Change Your Brain, Change Your Life
• Dr. Daniel Amen – Conquer Your Negative Thoughts
• Dr. Daniel Amen – Conquer Your Bad Habits

Healthy Habits Discussed

• Prayer
• Bible Reading
• Worship
• Gratitude
• Journaling
• Scripture Memorization
• Exercise
• Community
• Generosity
• Reading Growth-Oriented Books